Hey Guys,

It's been quite awhile since I last posted on here! So much has been going on in my life. Church, school, family....All of it is taking its toll. My church is great. I love the people in it with all my heart! Sometimes unfortunately, I feel like I am not getting anything out of it. Man, It seems like in some services I am getting NOWHERE. Crazy thing is the power of God is so strong it seems like the roof is going to come off the building! At the same time though I am not feeling a special touch...Its like God is going around the church touching everybody else but me! I pray and I pray! I told God that I don't want to have to beg Him to touch me in a special way. I hope it doesn't come to that but I will do whatever I have to do in order for Him to touch me.

I had one experience a few weeks ago that left me shaking. I went in my room one night. My blinds were open and i could see the stars in the sky. I felt so small. How could a God so big and mighty love a little spec on a pebble hanging in the universe?? How could He have been so merciful to me enough to save me?

Thoughts raced through my mind and I started to cry. People, I never cry! This night, however, I couldn't stop crying. One thought reigned over the rest, grace. Grace, Grace, Grace..... So much grace for such an unworthy sinner. God stretched out His grace for YOU AND ME! Unconditionally. Without saying, " Now I am gonna give you this grace but you have to do what I say or die!" NO! God gave us His grace without condition. His love is so abundant! Its sad that we take it for granted so many times. We live our own lives with desire for worldly things not the things of God.

It takes faith to believe in something. I have plenty of faith. I believe and have faith that God is REAL and He is watching you and I. I am worried though. He is coming quickly...Will I be ready? Will I make it into Heaven? I have been frivolously doing my own thing. I have made many mistakes. I have flaws. I NEED HELP!

That's what is so awesome about God. He helps us when we ask for it. BUT! BUT, we have to give everything to Him. Two keywords there: GIVE and EVERYTHING. With you doing those things God cant fix your problems. He wants to but He wont push His way into your life. He is a perfect gentleman. He wont force you or I to be saved.

I need prayer. I need strength. I need help. I need to do whats right! I need support. Friends who care. I know your out there!

*SIGH* Alright, that's probably enough jabbering for now! I am going to go get in touch with God.


God Bless you all!

Seth